the backstage epiphany

where reality is so subjective it's entirely optional

Monthly Archives: March 2006

Cradle to the grave

Found this on Gretchen’s Facebook Wall, written by Megan Sullivan…

Are you sick of all those sissy “friendship” poems that always sound like Hallmark cards, and never come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that really speak to true friendship:

1. When you are sad – I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.

2. When you are blue – I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile – I will know you’ve finally had sex.

4. When you are scared – I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried – I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and tell you to quit whining.

6. When you are confused – I will use little words.

7. When you are sick – Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don’t want whatever you have.

8. When you fall – I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

This is my oath: I pledge it till the end.
Why? you ask.
Because you are my friend.

Give this to 5 of your closest friends, then get depressed because you can only think of two, and one of them isn’t speaking to you anyway.

Remember: A good friend will help you move. A really good friend will help you move a body. Let me know if I ever need to bring a shovel.