the backstage epiphany

where reality is so subjective it's entirely optional

Entertainment Daily

What would life in this country be without it?
In collaboration with Becca (and occasionally Mom)

* Beginning with most recent

**Note: Due to the extensive expanse of resources, this page will be a constant work in progress.

January 17, 2011:

How do you pronounce P-I-S-C-E-S? I always thought it was piecies.

I’ve got the shrills.
You mean chills?

He’s Nepalese.
Where’s Nepali?

You know too much red meat is bad for you.
I know. Last time *****’s dad was hospitalized after he had a bad lack of ramb.
Say that again?
Lack of ramb.

Eeeeeeee, I don’t like this mushroom anymore! It keeps stucking all the time.

June 7, 2010:

On Facebook: The word All is lobe sided.

May 1, 2010:

In an SMS: They’re separating everyone… Non-Malaysians on one side and tourists on another.

March 19, 2010:

In an Outlook email:
Hi Sandra. Please provide caption for the attached photo. Thanks.
Hi ******. The caption was in the email I forwarded below. Thanks.
Oopps! My bet.

February 25, 2010:

On Facebook: ***** **** has ugly bruised and soar knees from contemporary dancing

January 28,2010:

Yesterday traffic was so bad… I had to crawl from bumper to bumper!

January 26, 2010:

Overheard: … ya, ya, I like also! A lot of nice!

January 20, 2010:

In an Outlook email: Your co-operation is very much appreciates. Sorry for any inconvenience cause.

January 15, 2010:

While spelling out a name:M for Malaysia, A for America, T for Thailand, E for Uruguay
I’m sorry… what?
E for Uruguay. Uruguay, Uruguay… or Uganda!

January 12, 2010:

On Facebook: **** **** **** taking up pole dancing class today….my tight is painful, but I like it 🙂

December 23, 2009:

In a bus: Sir, are you virgin?
I’m sorry?
(After several tries) Oh…! I mean, are you vegetarian?

The looks on their faces is worthless!

In August Man magazine, December 2009 issue: Tag Heuer never seizes to surprise me.

November 17, 2009:

I’m so fed up of her antiques.

November 9, 2009:

Waaah, thank you very strong!

September 30, 2009:

Eh, stop it. Don’t crumple your hand!
(I’m cracking my knuckles)

I was watching the news on E! today, and they were talking about K-Fed. He really is fat now. They showed him when he was wearing a swimming pool.

September 22, 2009:

My plane hit a truck.
(Pause) There was a truck in the air?
No, no, no! The plane hit a truck on the ground la, when it was taxiing. So now we have to unboard the plane.

Look, look, baby! They’re showing the MTV awards — the part where Kanye went onstage when Taylor Swift was speeching.

September 6, 2009:

Dear this my number now because I havent payment my bill.

i have to stand up from my sit every 10mins just to reduce the pressure on my ass

June 6, 2009:

I did think of piercing my tongue, but it causes a lisp.
No, it doesn’t! It costs you $100!
(Guffawing) HASSAN!

Why do you have that look on your face?
Nothing, I’m just fantasying.

May 6, 2009:

Hi, do you think we can get someone to cook eggs for us?
Oh, sorry, the cooking is resting.

April 15, 2009:

This is not from this country, but it deserves a slot here nonetheless.

April 6, 2009:

While proofreading an application form: … only applicable to Infinity Banking customers who maintain a portfolio compromising deposits, investment and bancassurance…

March 26, 2009:

Yeah, Meridian people are hot.
(Very long pause) I think he means Mediterranean.

Wait, Jun, what was her name?
Oh… wait, let me remind…

Jun, you’ve missed a lot! Becca ‘made friends’ with a German guy who works in our building!
Oh! Where is he from?

March 22, 2009:

Eh, what brand is your dog ah?

March 8, 2009:

I call her so many times, she hang me up!

On Facebook: **** **** **** is stucking in the jam. 3km took 60mins. better ride bicycle.

March 6, 2009:

Seen at J.Co Donuts in Pavilion:

J.PoPs
baby donuts
Has Born!

Please drop your bussiness card here.

February 26, 2009:

In an Outlook email: Hi, im ms. *** from [publication name] business dept, now had publish new weekly paper call- ‘The Busy Weekly’ which contents all about business/economic/finance/etc. Now, i would like had email interview about the latest trend in banking industries, and hopefully mr./ms. can spend a little time to answer my question. Your attention and reply within a week i very appreciate. Thank you.

1. In some region, economic downturn has affected the fee based activities i.e. wealth management, credit card, this has caused the banking industry to go back to their basic, focus more on deposit and lending business, is the same happens in your esteem company?

6. Do you think foreign banks would be hitted more than local banks, as the crisis has caused some of the foreign bankers parent company in oversea to suffer?

February 21, 2009:

… wish the bride and groom happine’, healf, and weew.
What?
I think he meant ‘wealth’.

February 20, 2009:

On Facebook: ******* is plan to watch red clips.
Note: Red Cliff

In a blogpost: Don’t be so sorrow, but keep on to strive everyday!

February 6, 2009:

Comment on a Facebook status: what’s up bro… what’s the matter problem? (almost as if could not decide which word to use and best course of action was to just put both)

January 30, 3009:

Sorry, sorry, I know this is very late. Please bare with me!

Sex & the City: The Movie — Mr. Big panics on his wedding day and jilts Carrie…
Eh, he got chicken feet!
(Very long pause) Cold feet?

January 27, 2009:

My head is very light-hearted.

It’s all she’s fault!

January 20, 2009:

They were all waiting for her to leave, and as soon as she was gone they fleed.
(Pause) Oh dear, fled!

December 23, 2008:

In an Outlook email: We must be firm with the dead line, otherwise they will not tow the line.

Oh my God, I went for the Melium Group members’ sale and bought three pairs of shoes and a skirt! I’m such a repulsive buyer.

In an Outlook email: I was wondering if you have had the time to look through it, and would appreciate it muchly if you could advise on when you’re able to return the checklist (at your soonest convenience, of course)?

My heart is pulpating.

December 21, 2008:

Sandra, this is the invitation letter for the golf tournament. I need you to prove it.
Proofread, you mean.

Wait, wait! What’s the word?
Astigmatism.
Again?
Astigmatism.
Yeah, yeah, Akmal and I were just debating that the other day! He was saying, “No, Mas, autism is a different thing!”

So ten minutes later, nobody had maken any move, and —
Wait, STOP!
(pause) Oh, God, I said maken, didn’t I?

But my car isn’t blocking all the way! Why cannot he get out?

On Facebook: ***** *** is unhappy 😦 mini..tyre puncit..

In a blogpost: I was so freaky happy!

And what part of this bothers you?
I don’t know…
OK, you will have to stop saying, “I don’t know.” You are not allowed to say that for the rest of this conversation.
(pause) I don’t know what ‘bother’ means.

November 11, 2008:

What name is her?
(pause) Excuse me?
Oh, right, sorry. What name is she?

Hi, Rebecca, just wanted to hello to you.

OK, I’ll try calling her cell phone.
I think you better don’t try; just call.
(pause) Right…

The soup is very wonder.

OK-la, OK-la, don’t angry, make joke only, OK? Make joke only…

We go in for a while only. Very fast one, just to hello-hello only!

Eh, eh, look, it’s rendez-vous!
(pause) You mean déjà vu?

Oh, this dress? I bought it from Jala.
(This one’s too easy; I’m not even going to say what it really is)

Is it ‘sport carnivals’ or ‘sports carnival’?
(silently jabs finger at the right phrase)

No, you don’t worry, the Macbook is very friendly user one.

Sorry, the bosses do not satisfy the new layout.

I want a shadow! It must have shadow!
(a while later) You mean a reflection?

Can you please give me a help?
(pause) OK, I will look through the email and see how I can fix it.
Oh, thank you, thank you in a million! That’s all about it la.

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3 responses to “Entertainment Daily

  1. Sharizal Shaarani November 20, 2008 at 7:50 PM

    hahahahaha this is hilarious. watch out dilbert! 🙂

  2. Samuel L. April 22, 2009 at 3:05 PM

    I read your blog for quite a long time and must tell you that your posts are always valuable to readers.

  3. sarah June 7, 2009 at 1:07 AM

    hey saw your posts in a forum. and i love this page!

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